The dawn of a new day ...

Or rather night before a new hell. Tomorrow I start work, full time. I'm excited on one hand. My income will greatly improve our life. Not that we are 'hard up' now, but we'll be able to have fun again! Although I do have to admit (somewhat begrudgingly) that we have yet had to pass up on an opportunity due to lack of funds. I'm a great money shifter I guess. This will however allow us to pay off some debt faster and in turn allow us more freedom.
On to my other hand. I'm so very sad I will be missing such wonderful time with my girls. To this point (and I know I'm very lucky for it) I've been witness to every major (and minor) milestone they've accomplished. I feel like a failure, even though I know in my heart, this is the best thing for our family at this time. They will have a good time at 'school'. They will be loved, and spoiled, and lavished with more attention than I can give them alone. Their caretakers are fabulous women who love their babies more than any person ought to (with the exception of parents themselves).
The kicker, I'm really not sad about working, I'm just upset I have to put the girls in daycare. We're going to have a lot of rough days to start with, and my excellent schedule will be right out the window. But what are you going to do?
So tomorrow, as I leave my house, please think of me. The girls do not start until Thursday, but my heart will be breaking the moment I step out of this house. Irrational fears aside, I know I'm still a great mommy.